JMS's Dirty Laundry

Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:51 pm

Awww I was hoping for some juicy dirt on old members of the boards.

Still, was an interesting read, my internet history isn’t quite so dramatic but some advice.

- Text doesn’t convey the emotion in words, so be careful with the way you word things and the way you interpret what others write.
- Remember that you’re interacting with real people, with real emotions
- Take everything with a grain of salt and try not to get too serious about it, remember if it’s bugging you there’s always that little red X in the top right corner that can make it all just go away.

Check-Mate · Post by **Check-Mate** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 8:24 pm

Interesting.
That definitely gives some insight to a few things.

Welcome back.

486 player · Post by **486 player** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:47 am

I took it easy. Why did thou empty thy reviews?

Ro@m · Post by **Ro@m** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:15 am

Hast thou not read his posts?

OT:I just love listening to the Hammerites in Thief:The dark Project

Post by **Larry Laffer** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:27 pm

So, just to get this clear... how should we call you?

also, TSM's right, but... there are always emoticons

Final Chance · Post by **Final Chance** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:43 pm

You can call me Justin or JMS, which became my most common handle.

The reason I changed my nic so much, each nickname was a concept I invented, rather than a way to describe myself.

It's a bit like computers:

Intel had the Pentium, Pentium II, Pentium !!!, Pentium 4, Centrino, Celeron, Core, Core2, each time Intel had cool ideas and stuff.

I used several theme concepts, and it reflected in my handles/nicknames.

486 player · Post by **486 player** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 9:13 am

Just the '386 thing'. I don't read large posts and I counted 'em as one.

Kazer0 · Post by **Kazer0** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 9:20 pm

I may sound like a jerk, but im serious: If you get this upset over online experiances you should really look for some psyciatric help.

Final Chance · Post by **Final Chance** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:42 pm

It's not so much the experiences themselves that bothered me, it's the painful feeling of wondering if I could have done better.

Like Brian Mulroney powerslamming John Turner in the 1984 debate, this is sort of what I said to myself in my own mind:

"You had an option, sir. You could have said, 'I am not going to be on any forum. This is wrong for the Internet, and I am not going to ask Internet users to pay the price.' You had an option, sir--to avoid these horrible situations--and you chose to say 'yes' to the old attitudes and the old stories of the people who do stuff like that. That sir, if I may say respectfully, that is not good enough for the Internet."

Granted, I'm aware that it all wasn't necessarily 100% my fault, but I know that if I never posted anything on any forum, none of this would have happened.

Yeah, it's the same mentality like "If you never drive, you'll never have a car crash". But at least you may see my view of it.

Imagine if nobody ever posted on any forum to avoid conflicts. But I have a peculiar desire to avoid conflict at all costs. That's what hurt me the most, wondering if I ever did anything wrong or if I was a catalyst to the behavior.

I never cared about what the "other guy" did wrong so much as if I did something to incite the situation. As in, "Did I throw gasoline on the fire?"

And, moreso than psychiatric help, it's best if I see a bad situation ahead of time, and quickly avoid it before it starts. That's what I hope I learned better after all these years.

And I know, if I knew back then what I know now, we would have been forum buddies.

And a testament to the improvements, is that we have respect for each other now in 2007, what a stark difference from 2004!

Thanks,

Justin

Check-Mate · Post by **Check-Mate** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:50 pm

So basically, you're paranoid?
Life is about taking risks.

You can't go through life stepping over cracks and tip toeing around like you're walking on eggshells.
At least you're trying again...
But make sure to realize that there's no way to avoid conflict in life.
It's just part of life.

Final Chance · Post by **Final Chance** » Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:16 pm

I don't mind a conflict, as long as it wasn't my fault.

The only conflicts that bother me are the ones where I did something wrong, or if I was ignorant about something that I should have known, or if I could have done something better.

For example, when I walked down the street one day, a middle-aged woman passed me, put the middle finger up to me and told me to "Fuck off". I didn't care because I know I didn't do anything to deserve it.

But if I bumped into her, or stepped on her foot, or something, then it would have made me feel bad.

GAMER · Post by **GAMER** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 6:22 am

And...This is the internet. No offence to anyone here, but Real Life is where conflict matters...If i had a *major* falling out with anyone here, i could just leave and not give it a second thought.

I hope your Real Life relationships are easier for you...

GAMER

Gamer_V · Post by **Gamer_V** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:04 am

GAMER wrote:And...This is the internet. No offence to anyone here, but Real Life is where conflict matters...If i had a *major* falling out with anyone here, i could just leave and not give it a second thought.

I hope your Real Life relationships are easier for you...

GAMER

In short:

Post by **Larry Laffer** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:37 pm

Gamer_V wrote:
GAMER wrote:And...This is the internet. No offence to anyone here, but Real Life is where conflict matters...If i had a *major* falling out with anyone here, i could just leave and not give it a second thought.

I hope your Real Life relationships are easier for you...

GAMER
In short:

{picture clipped, too damned big}

Gamer_V, you're developing an obsession, man! I mean come on! saying the same thing with every occasion? Please!

Gamer_V · Post by **Gamer_V** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:19 pm

Larry Laffer wrote:
Gamer_V wrote:In short:

{picture clipped, too damned big}

Gamer_V, you're developing an obsession, man! I mean come on! saying the same thing with every occasion? Please!

It's the first time I've used this picture on this forum. On top of that, I didn't know TSM said it in that other topic. Cause that wasn't me, in case you hadn't noticed.

Final Chance · Post by **Final Chance** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 11:59 pm

Yeah, any victory achieved in an online conflict is almost always a Pyrrhic Victory.

Check-Mate · Post by **Check-Mate** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:53 am

Sometimes Online stuff can become part of your "real" life.
Even though we're all real people, and we all have real feelings and real goals and real motives.
Whether or not we're being our "real" selves, or pretending to be someone we're not.
Maybe the conflict isn't "real" simply because it's not someone we really know.
But if you have a conflict with someone you don't really know in "real" life, does it make a bigger impact? Yes, usually.
Why? Cause it's "real" life?

I know I've developed a lot of relationships with people over the internet. Whether or not they're "real" is all in the eye of the beholder.

(How many times can you say the word 'real' in a phrase?! ANNNND Go.)

Sun Jan 28, 2007 6:28 am

It's a healthy part of life, bottling up emotions inside only leads to more problems, it's better to get it out in the open and resolve it in a mature fashion.